Cool Facebook Statuses For Every Day

Hate being boring? You can get lots of likes with these interesting Facebook statuses! Your friends will be in love with your page. They will visit it every day to get some positive energy. So do not waste your time, checkout our list!

Cool and clever Facebook statuses

• May your life someday be as good as you make it out to be on Facebook.
• LIKE if you hate it when someone tags you in a photo, you look horrible in because they happen to look so good in it.
• Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.
• Looking at school books and thinking: what a waste of a tree!
• Nobody around here treats me like a glamour model, so I’m just going to sit here taking selfies by myself.
• Why didn’t you reply to my text? Well, how am I supposed to reply to LOL?
• Line dancing was originally invented by women waiting in line for the bathroom.
• Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
• Nothing is illegal. Until you get caught.
• Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

The best status for Facebook

• Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
• When I get a pimple on my tongue, I always feel guilty in case I’ve told a white lie.
• I dance like a car dealerships inflatable tube man.
• I tried being normal once. Most boring hour of my life.
• You didn’t notice that that I used a word twice in this sentence.
• A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
• The first five days after the weekend are always hard.
• I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.
• At first, I didn’t like my beard; then it grew on me.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• “What’s up cake?” “Muffin much.”
• I don’t have goals. Goals are for soccer. I’m not soccer.

Cute and nice status for Facebook

• I forgot to work out today. That’s five years in a row!
• If I went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work.
• I hate it when I’m singing a song, and the artist gets the words wrong.
• That moment when you try talking to someone you’re hot for, and you say GFBLQRINABAH instead of “I’m good thanks!”
• The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
• You look like I need a drink.
• Trust me; you can dance. ~ Vodka
• I’m not weird. I’m just cooler than you.

• Haircuts are the reason why I have trust issues.
• That awkward moment when you wave to a stranger on Facebook by accident.
• I wasn’t drunk; I was just testing if the plant was as soft as my bed.
• Dip me in chocolate and call me dessert.
• That awkward moment when you have a crush on the most inconvenient person possible.
• I put the ‘Me’ in ‘Someone,’ and things get awkward.
• Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you turn on is the microwave!
• That moment when someone you met for 3 seconds sends you a Facebook friend request.

Witty statuses

• I just don’t know how to react when someone sends me a selfie. I mean, should I say “Wow! You really got yourself at the perfect angle in that restroom!”
• That moment when the random person you just met asks for your full name, and you know it’s because they want to stalk you on Facebook.
• The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn’t already taken.
• I’m a good girl. With a lot of bad habits.
• Aren’t we ALL internet explorers?
• I’ve been known to flash people (with my camera).
• If Twitter wasn’t around in the olden days why is there a hashtag button on landlines?
• I press all the “Try Me” buttons on toys and then walk away LIKE A BOSS.
• Me without you is like Facebook with no friends, YouTube with no videos, and Google with no results.
• Girls are beautiful, not hot. They are not a temperature.
• Dear friends, please don’t tag me in a photo that is so prehistoric you have to scan the photo to make it digital. No one here is into studying history, sincerely everybody born before 2010.
• Don’t think too much or you could create a problem that wasn’t even there.
• Without candy crush, I’d be like a kid with no candy!
• Telling me you’re going to unfollow me is like announcing you’re leaving a party you weren’t even invited to.
• I did not say I didn’t want to work. I said I didn’t want to Tw@rk!
• Cheese. Milk’s leap towards evolution.
• My mum’s so old-fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you’re Pa is in the hospital LOL.
• I’m following you on Twitter because my mum always told me to follow my dreams.
• Everyone is normal until you find them on Twitter.
• Tired? There’s a nap for that.
• When someone says you are what you eat, and you’re eating the chicken’s bum.
• If you have a problem with me write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and shove it up your big behind.
• If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a really good position to kiss my back.
• This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog
• Well, I didn’t know I logged into sookbook today.

• A day without sunlight is night.
• I can resist anything, except temptation.
• Sitting in class wondering who would die if one of the fans fell down.
• I’m pretty sure you’re not a car, get an actual photo for your profile.
• Every time I put my phone on silent, it decides to play “hide and seek.”
• You put the “pro” in “procrastination.”
• I don’t have exes; I have Y’s. Y the hell did I do that?
• I have decided to tell my pets they’re adopted.
• If swimming is an exercise, then explain whales to me.
• If someone says “I love you,” and you don’t feel the same way, just say “I love YouTube” really fast.
• Only 10-20% of the population can wiggle their ears and raise one eyebrow.
• We should stop teaching kids to sing the alphabet. It took me five years to realize that “elemeno” wasn’t a letter.
• Unicorns do exist. They’re just fat and grey, and we call them Rhinos.
• A message in the toilet: Treat me well, keep me clean, I will not tell anyone what I have seen.
• I grew up being told not to write on the walls. Felt like such a badass when I first joined Facebook.
• My wallet is like an onion, when I open it. It makes me cry.
• Life is like a box of chocolates: if you eat the whole thing at once you’re going to be sick.

Did you choose you best cool Facebook status? Which one will surprise your friends today? Share your ideas in comments!